Overwhelmed by Ishita
I feel unable to describe my feelings from the past few months of this year. In March, during the initial stages of the lockdown in India, I felt calm and composed. I was unexpectedly resilient when managing the uncertainty, which I probably learnt from my experience of dealing with clinical depression. However, from June onwards, I felt my resilience had shaken. The current economic and political systems in place started to get on my nerves in an extreme way.
That was a lot to process. I felt anxious, angry, fearful, upset, and frustrated. My already existing pain and anxiety about climate change heightened during this pandemic.
I feel like there is no infrastructure in our society to process the emotional responses to the changes that are happening constantly. I don’t like the feeling of waking up every morning anticipating environmental loss in many parts of the world. The more I’m engaged with the issue, the more I realise what needs to be done and the more I feel it is bigger than my individual capacity to make meaningful change.
I feel angry at a force I cannot see. I cannot look away.